My Life Foundation

My Life Foundation

            My family history is my life foundation, just like the root of a tree to help it stay strong. Before the 1970s, farming was very important in China because it was the main income for most Chinese families. According to Chinese culture, males were the main labor force in the family, so most families would prefer to give birth to males to increase their working population. However, it caused China’s population growth to go out of control. After 1979, the Chinese government decided to implement the One-Child Policy to control the population. Under this policy, each couple could just give birth to one child and could not check the gender before the baby was born. The One-Child Policy has influenced Chinese people for more than thirty years, and it deeply changed my family and my life.

            One of the biggest effects of the One-Child Policy was that my father’s family relationship changed. My family members started looking down on my parents when I was born. My father is the oldest child who worked far away from home and sent money home to help his mother for raising other siblings in his family, so family members used to respect him. However, everything changed after I was born. Because I am a girl, my paternal grandmother always picked on my mother. Although my mother needed more rest after my birth and had to take care of me, she had to do all the housework for the family. Moreover, the One-Child Policy pushed my father to separate from his entire family. After I was born, my mother stopped working and became a housewife because she needed to take care of me, so she relied on my father to send money home to buy food and pay bills. My mother had to receive the money through my paternal grandmother because we lived with her, but she took my mother’s money. My mother started working again to pay for our living expenses. Therefore, my father decided to leave his family and live with my maternal grandmother. Although my parents had to work very hard for our own family, it was the opportunity to change our life.

            Separating from the entire family was an opportunity to change our lives; however, it also caused some problems in my own family relationship. After my mother started working again, I grew up lonely with my maternal grandmother. I barely saw my mother because she was very busy, and I only saw my father once or twice a year because he lived far away from our home. As a result, our relationship was not close, and I did not know how to communicate with my parents. In addition, as the only child, my parents expect a lot from me. They expected that I would be an independent person and take care of them after I grow up. Therefore, they cared about my education, and they also gave me more freedom in my studies. They wished I could get an advanced degree that would make them feel proud. Although my parents never said anything, I knew they felt upset because my paternal family looked down on them. I appreciated the way my parents raised me because it formed who am I going to be, and I knew that they truly love me, even though they never said they love me. 

Beside of the changed relationship between my parents and me, the One-Child Policy also affected my whole life. The only child can have their parents’ full attention, but they have all the responsibilities for their parents, too. For example, since we moved to the United States, every time my parents have a doctor appointment or get sick, I need to take them to the hospital because they do not understand English. They also do not know how to drive, so I need to help them by grocery. Furthermore, the only child has a huge financial pressure for the family. I remember when I started working, I had to pay half of my salary to my parents for our rent and living expenses. Now, since they are getting older and the medical expenses can be very expensive, I have had to work harder to save more money. I need to prepare for that just in case something happens in the future. Sometimes, family responsibilities and financial pressures make me breathless, but this pressure can change to be the positive energy to push me to improve myself.

The One-Child Policy had affected China for more than thirty years until it ended in 2013. This policy caused some societal problems, such as aging population, declining labor force, and huge social welfare spending for the elderly. Therefore, the Chinese government decided to end the One-Child Policy. It seemed like an effective policy for the government to control its population at that time, but it had a profound impact on a lot of families and only children. This policy gave my parents an opportunity to change their lives, and it also had deep influence on my life. I cannot change anything in my past because my history is my life foundation that shaped who I am. Although the One-Child Policy still impacts my life, I know I still can have opportunities to change my future and make it better.